Review: Slice in Twain

Draft Priority: 4

Impact: 3

Stack Status: 4
Must-have utility champion

Discussion:

I want to mark this card up for being the only Magic card with “Twain” in the title, but it doesn’t need any score padding. It’s one fo the best Disenchant variants available because it’s an instant that does ANYTHING and draws a card. In a format with limitless mana, I’m sure the appeal of this card isn’t lost. Like it’s crappier cousin Mystic Melting, this should essentially be in all Type 4 piles because it fills an important role in disruption while being something players will actively want to use; it won’t slow them down by consuming a main phase, it doesn’t cost them a card, and it can make a decent impact on the game.

It’s hard to ask much more of such an obvious throwaway design.

Overall: Four Twains out of five

Review: Lost in the Mist

Draft Priority: 5

Impact: 5

Stack Status: *6*
Stacker Pentecost.

Discussion:

The done did it here. Referred to as “Trapped in the Closet” for a long time in my group (then transitioned into “Urban Opera” before finally reclaiming the proper title of “Lost in the Mist”), this card is a real Type 4 powerhouse that meets all the criteria for being an awesome Type 4 card. It’s common, cheap, terrible in other formats, and has a tremendous impact on the board. Even if there’s not a particularly opportune spell to counter, somebody is casting something all the time and if you need an emergency bounce spell you can usually find a way to make it happen. It also let us reference R. Kelly, probably the most important thing of all.

itic

 

Hmm Real Talk

This is obviously dissolving into an R. Kelly reference-fest, which isn’t bad, but not why you read this stuff (like anybody does).

Anyway, Lost in the Mist is a real powerhouse counterspell, maybe one of the best in the format. A surprise hit!

Overall: Five “Did she say there were other guys there?” out of five, Stacker Pentecost Glare of Approval

 

Review: Beast Attack

Draft Priority: 3

Impact: 3

Stack Status: 4
BEAST ATTACK

Discussion:

BEAST ATTACK

A card with a name like that isn’t here to fuck around. It’s here to do one thing… twice… I guess. MAKE BEASTS

AND THEN U GOTTA ATTACK WITH EM

Although you can use it as a blocker (which is especially satisfying when you use it to surprise-block somebody looking for a little poke with a stupid utility creature and you scream BEAST ATTACK at their neck and rip up the creature the beast blocks), it’s obviously meant more for ATTACKing. But since I can’t be everywhere at once yet enforcing this, use it however you see fit.

TO ATTACK

Overall: BEAST ATTACK

Review: Terror

Draft Priority: 3

Impact: 2

Stack Status: 3
Staple.

Discussion:

One of the Oest of OG creature removal spells, Terror is the perfect storm of excellence. Ron Spencer art? Check. Incredibly awesome old-school wording? Obviously. A pretty good effect that still plays well today? Of course. Consider we’re still getting slight tweaks on this card like Doom Blade and they’re seeing serious competition play and you know Terror was doing it up rightwise for like twenty years. It’s too bad old copies of this card are so expensive now because having the original wording just makes the card better in Type 4, but even the new art with the three guys… or skeletons… or whatever you’d say, eating each other is perfectly passable.

Speaking of renditions, Terror is one of the few cards that was never graced by truly shat art despite getting many reprints. There’s only three arts and they’re all pretty good. Some people debate the Mirrodin one but I like it, at least. The art is clearly related to the name and the effect. It’s all you can really ask for when most cards are looking more and more like generic comic book panels with little relation to the game.

There’s not much you can say about a card like this. It’s like trying to review oatmeal.

Overall: Two and a half decades of getting wrecked by this card out of five

Review: Gigadrowse

Draft Priority: 2

Impact:2

Stack Status: 3
Bretty gud :DDDD

Discussion:

A long time ago, I think it was Dennis Leary did a skit on NyQuil, where he referenced that he preferred ‘extra drowsy’ formulas that would basically let him get high enough to sleep without breaking the law. I was going to factor in that little reference to my review, but when I searched for ‘extra drowsy’ (doing it with ‘NyQuil’ just got me stupid product images) I got this horrifying grab bag.

Seriously, what the fuck is this? Those monkey things? A bunch of horses?

I hope you get the same results as me or I’m joint going to seem looney. Regardless, Gigadrowse, extra-drowsy, I’m sure you can trace this roadmap to hilarity without my guidance.

It’s an ok card, nothing more or less. Love them Twiddles.

Overall: Two and a half mind-benging Google journeys out of five

Review: Assert Authority

Draft Priority: 4

Impact: 3

Stack Status: 4
Bretty bangin

Discussion:

Overpriced counterspells are absolutely a Type 4 staple, in pretty much all forms. Conditional or not, and counterspell-plus especially.

There’s not a lot to say about this one, because it’s not that interesting unto itself. But it’s plenty good.

Overall: Four magic Jazz Hands out of five

Review: Explosive Impact

Draft Priority: 3

Impact: 3

Stack Status: 5
Stacker Pentecost. AGAIN MY GOD WHATS HAPPENING ITS ALMOST LIKE I CHOOSE GOOD CARDS

Discussion:

This card should just be called ‘PUNCH IN THE FACE’ with the all-caps. It’s basically just that. Sometimes a punch in the face is exactly what you need, though, and these type of higher-end burn spells are totally needed in Type 4. They keep people on their toes and help prevent stalemates, so I was quite pleased to see another high-cost, high-damage instant-speed burn spell get printed. I wish there were dozens of slight variants of this spell, they would all go into the stack.

Here’s some strategy tips on using Explosive Impact: use it on targets to kill them

Overall: Three and a half allcaps out of five

Review: Clutch of the Undercity

Draft Priority: 3

Impact: 3

Stack Status: 5
Stacker Pentecost.

Discussion:

It seems like I’m getting to review a lot of really good bounce spells lately. In that category of cards, this is a top-tier elite. Universal target opportunities, some life loss on the side, and a very powerful Transmute value for finding utility instants like Return to Dust, various counterspells, Turnabout and so on–there’s just a lot of good cards at the four mana slot. But often you’ll want to keep this around for what it is–and extremely useful and versatile bounce spell.

Don’t think too much, just take it. The only reason the draft priority is 3 is because people tend to undervalue this spell so often you can take it a bit late, but don’t be that guy who hopes it tables one more time while you take some other mediocre pick, confident you’re outsmarting everyone else.

You’re probably not. At least, I know I’m not.

Overall: Four sewer muggings out of five

Review: Mirrorweave

Draft Priority: 4

Impact: 5

Stack Status:
Stacker Pentecost. Man, I’m getting a lot of must-haves for review lately.

Discussion:

I’m sure you can imagine some of the things this card can do. Mirrorweave is, in general, a pretty high-impact card regardless of environment because the effect is big and undercosted in my view. Whether you’re turning a bunch of 2/2s and 3/3s into 1/1s for defensive trades in Cube or turning a swarm of junk utility ETB disposable bodies into 8/8 tramplers in EDH, when Mirrorweave gets played, it’s going down. Obviously, the craziness is directly proportional to the creatures available in play. So in Type 4, where you’re essentially playing with a compilation of the most elite and inefficient screaming T-Rex predators, Silverback alphas and other assorted metaphors for big-ass ass-stomping assheads, then Mirrorweave is liable to make boards blow up.

I will provide a ward of caution; when creatures that you can target are in the vein of Bloodfire Colossus, employing some caution in where and when you use Mirrorweave is pretty important. It can absolutely backfire, especially if somebody copies it in an inopportune way or has Flash creatures or something. When the numbers get big enough, small changes in the math make a huge difference. Don’t get killed by your own Mirrorweave play.

On the other hand, if you’re about to lose, feel free to play a quick, chaos-inducing Mirrorweave to mess with everyone before you ‘gracefully’ step out. It’s the classy thing to do.

Overall: Four and a half ass asses out of five

Review: Into the Roil

Draft Priority: 3

Impact: 3

Stack Status: 5
Stacker Pentecost.

Discussion:

This is undoubtedly one of the best bounce spells in Type 4, or maybe one of the best bounce spells in general. I really like Repulse and this is essentially a pure upgrade of that spell, since it just has wider target selection (save your own stuff, which does kinda hurt). With semi-meaningful effect with a cantrip attached to it being essentially playable-to-superb in Type 4, this obviously becomes one of the best utility spells out there. I would give it higher scores but the inability to use it to protect your own permanents is unfortunate and in general, you just can’t say a Roil Tide impacts a game like a Morphling or whatever. It’s not a condemnation of the card but just an objective look at things.

Also, Kicker is a badass mechanic that I’m always pleased to see come back and it was actually pretty well-implemented in the new nWo world of design. While old-school Kicker costs tended to be outrageous and not worth the price, the new ones are more fairly costed and makes the cards plenty fun to play with.

Overall: Four excellent seafaring turbans out of five